Commencement

Yesterday was the longest commencement ceremony possible. I had no idea half these people were smart enough to graduate.

It all started with my Dad and Stepmom Leigha taking me to the keg in my grad suit. I felt silly and overdressed, but wine took care of that. I got a few ackward talks from my Dad concerning alcohol and sex. Again the wine helped me through...

After some really good food, we drove to the Jubilee auditorium. The first thing I did was lose the card telling me the order I'm supposed to be in. An idiot thing to do, but I was nervous. I don't know why. I assume the alcohol had worn off.

We marched in, took seats and then sat through the longest ceremony possible. There were performances by Mr. Postle's musical students (he was WAY too enthusiastic in the way he flailed his arms). Interspersed with the musical distractions and lengthy speeches (some good, some without a point), the alphagroups were marched out in order to recieve a mock diploma, a few handshakes, and a pin. People were acting retarded for their pictures, and I'm sure there will be a few displeased parrents.

One thing about the commencement that really creeped me out was how Mr. Peterson just took one look at me, at put his hand to my midsection in the precise spot where my flask was. With the volume of clothing I was wearing, there was no way he could has seen an outline, so this leads me to believe he is either psychic or has X-ray vision. I still have no idea how he did that...

When it was finally over, we all met up at a Denny's. Sadly it was the only thing open that late at night that we could all go to. I drank 4 beers (which I had no idea were even served at Denny's) which went straight to my head. I hadn't eaten for 6 hours at this point.

After giving thoroughly nautical directions, Adam drove me home.

Grad Shoe Fiasco

This is the story of the past couple days. I needed grad shoes, but ended up going shopping 5 freaking times!! Where I would be content to go find a good pair and buy them, my Mom insists that this be the most unpleasant and painful experience possible. We have spent many hours trying on shoes that she selects (all her taste is in her mouth). Perhaps I am being on the picky side, but I'd like the shoes to look good and be comfortable. She keeps having me try on rediculous shoes that look horrendous. It seems that every time I go with my friends, we find a good pair in no time at all, but when I try to get my mom in to buy them, she picks them apart (invariably claiming they are the ugliest shoes she has ever seen).

So after much pain and suffering (I react poorly to both my mother and shopping), I forced her to buy a pair that everyone tells me look great (the word "everyone" obviously excluding her). I had to agree to pay for half to finally get her to buy them, after she said that my grad outfit was her grad present to me. A few days later she finally admitted that the shoes look really good. So here I am. Clothed. Shoed. Ready to rock.

Toga Party

I had never been to a toga party until today. As far as I can tell, we wore togas only to satisfy some deep-rooted desire of Erin's to see us all closer to naked. Other than Ben being able to display a sun drawn (by Eden of course) on his nipple, the togas were pointless.

Moving right on, the food was really good. Kathleen ended up making the food for her own party, but that certainly beats any alternative. We ALMOST swam in Andy's pool, but he insisted it was too cold (I was willing to risk it). Later Paolo and I had insanity sauce (you have to sign a waiver to buy this hot sauce).

It was all really fun, and afterward Miriam and I went to Hannah's house to keep her company as she attempted to control the evil children from hell. I suppose that deserves further explaination. Hannah was babysitting two small girls, one of whom was posessed by the devil and was remarkably violent. Highlights include playing the American Idol board game (I sang a Britney Spears song with an intro of 24 consecutive "yeah"s). I ended up functioning as a pillow for Hannah as we watched tv, so I think the night went well.

Cook County

Tonight Erin, Kathleen, Hannah, Andy, and I went to a bar off Whyte Ave called Cook County. It is a definite country bar, complete with a mechanical bull (although it was out of comission). Although Erin left too early, it was really fun. I "danced" with Hannah after considerable persuasion. When I say "danced", I mean I was imitating a seizure. In addition to that, I tried to throw in dance moves from the jive, the two step, and anything else I could remember to give the impression that I was leading.

When Andy and Kathleen left, Hannah and I had to get a ride home with a guy she knew. It was weird that as soon as she called him, he just walked up to us on the street. This leads me to believe she has a stalker. Creepy.

Kathleen's 18th Birthday

Today is Kathleen's 18th birthday. My list of eligable drinking buddies is getting longer by the day!

I'm really excited to go to a bar with Kathleen because she says she can teach me the right way to pick up chicks. Talk about insider knowledge.

Tomorrow there is a joint Erin/Kathleen birthday extravaganza. Their birthdays are so close that it would be pointless to throw two parties.

Pimp Suit

I picked up my suit yesterday, and it's very brown. Far more brown than I expected. I had the impression that it would be a darker color, but it was brown and brown alone.

It should still look pretty good, but it's definitely not what I expected.

Golden Triangle (part 2)

Wow Sunburn!!! Wow Farmers Tan!!! Wow in general!!!

Biking was so amazingly awesome! I have to do it again next year!! Not only did I keep up, I beat many veterans with amazingly inferior equipment. I'm really sore and burnt, but proud of myself.

So on to the sunburn part. The top of my arms and legs are completely burnt. Think lobster, except 50 lobsters. There are second degree burns on my nose as well. The best part of this is that my bike jersey didn't move at all on my arms, so my farmers tan is very apparent. Saying that it is clearly defined is an enormous understatement.

My muscles were forced to develop on this trip. A muscle I wasn't aware existed is now protruding from the side of my leg. I'm probably going to be sore for a few days.

The best parts were the resturant in Radium - a waiter wore leiderhosen, the yank driving the support vechile - amazingly awesome guy, and most of all the giant hill down into Castle Mountain Junction - I was passing cars!!

Golden Triangle

Ok so I'm super hyped up for this weekend. I'm going to the mountains for a road biking trip called the reverse golden triangle (reversed so we aren't in huge packs of cyclists all the time). It's about 110km of biking each day (less than 4 hours). There are three legs of the trip that form a triangle. We start near Castle Mountain Junction where the cars will be parked, and travel to Golden, then Radium, and finally back to complete the loop. Each night we will be staying in utter dives of motels.

I'm really excited for this trip. This will be my first time on a road bike, and I hope I enjoy it and am able to keep up. These people are really athletic, and they practice road biking to the max.

My uncle's friend will be loaning me a hybrid bike (not a true roadbike, due mostly to additional weight). In addition to not having a true roadbike, I won't have barely any of the right equipment. I don't have clip in peddles (they allow you to push the peddles down as well as pull them up), meaning I'll have roughly 60% of the thrust and will only probably be over-using one muscle group. Also: people normally don't wear board shorts on a bike, but they're all I've got.

On a sad note, it really sucks that I'm going to miss Erin's 18th birthday party/drinking. Of all the people I could have to cancel on... it just had to be Erin. I hope she has a super blast of a time and I'm really sad that I'll miss this.

My contract hath expired

There was this deal I made many days ago. It involved me not drinking for 17 days. This all started when my friends went on guitar tour. Since my group of usual friends was suddenly reduced to Eden and Eden alone, it was pretty lonely and boring (The only interaction being numerous games of checkers) . Naturally I began drinking.

I phoned the people in BC every night, and it didn't take them long to figure out about my drinking. They made me promise (three times) that I wouldn't drink until Erin's 18th Birthday, the 17th of May. 17 Days without alcohol. Good grief.

I renegotiated this contract for a party, but other than that have kept true to my word. The reason I'm writing this is that my contract has just expired. So with grace and clarity, I return to drinking status.

So Erin, I'm getting drunk tonight with or without you. I would prefer it if you would come, and not be lame.

Also: Happy Birthday...

Impossible Dream

There is a girl in my school who is amazingly pretty. In fact she is the most beautiful girl I have ever seen in real life. She looks amazing, and the way she dresses compliments this. There is nothing about her that I dislike.

Tragically she is way out of my league, and has a boyfriend. I would love to take her to grad, but I can't. She doesn't even know how I feel.

Ask me about Loom...

Back in the mid to late 90s there was a now dead genre of computer games called Adventure Games. They featured puzzles and interesting story lines, and had some of the best humor ever presented in games. My favorites were the Monkey Island series made by LucasArts.

The humor (being the best part of these games) was often slapstick or just intended to be so blatantly lame that it became funny somehow. The character Guybrush (in development before he had a name his sprite was named guy.brush where .brush was the filetype used) often says things in conversation such as "I'm selling these fine leather jackets...". There are also numerous references to other things from pop culture. The characters Sam & Max make appearances in all 4 monkey island games. Stan's previously owned ship emporium is run by a man who is an overstereotyped used car salesman. He trys to sell you a ship with "Porthole defrosters" and Rack and Pinion steering.

As an example of how far these people would go for a laugh, I have captured some images from The Secret of Monkey Island in which you can ask one of the pirates in a bar about another game that was in production and he goes into a big advertising rant. This is by no means the best humor, but it was late and I didn't feel like playing any further into the game.